Too blessed?

I don't have a problem counting my blessings. I know how blessed we are, and am reminded every single day. I have 3 beautiful healthy boys, a wonderful loving husband who is gainfully employed, and an amazing family that is so integral to it all.

The thing is, sometimes I feel guilty. And not just guilty, but anxious. Like things are TOO good, and my world is just going to come crashing down on me any minute.

While on our roadtrip last week, we got a call that Adrian had been in a motorcycle accident. Someone had run a red light and plowed straight into him. He has been in a drug induced coma and on ventilators for the better part of the week. We are so grateful that he was wearing a helmet and that his head and spine have are fine. The whole right side of his body is a different story. He is progressing toward health each day, and I told Nichole that he is strong and doing it all for his family. And I truly believe it.

After we got the news of Adrian's accident, I told Ben that "I just can't worry enough". I was worried about our 3 carloads traveling safely. I was terrified that I was going to have to watch my parents in the Blazer roll over or see Brooke in the truck behind us go off the road. Nonsense worries, but they consumed me none the less.

Then, just this morning, my dad called to tell me that Joy had been laid off. My sweet sister Joy has been through hell and back these last few years. She did her best to make an unhappy marriage work. Even then the jerk decided to go make a baby with someone else and tear their family apart. Joy moved two thousand miles away from the family to make her then husband and his family happy. Now she is stuck there. Alone. My heart breaks for her almost on a daily basis. She does the best she can, and is a much stronger person than I. But she faces more frustration and sadness than I can even comprehend.

I was on the phone with her this morning, trying to help her deal with the layoff. Dad has told her to take a month to herself. To do the things that she doesn't have time for when she is working and being the main caregiver to the girls. I told her that I agreed with dad and that all we want (the whole family) is for her to be happy. We both cried, because we know that she has not truly been happy for a long time. Yes, we enjoyed our vacation together, and she loves her girls, but she deserves true, burning happiness. And she has been denied it for way too long.

I had to go after that, because we were both too overcome by emotions to talk. But things didn't end there, that was when I really started to wonder how Ben and I had been so protected from such heartache... and what is in store for us down the road?